March 2, 2009

Five or Six?

Do you have a hard time when you look st something deciding if there are five or six? I do, let me tell you why.

You see, it was this little sweetie's birthday on Sunday. (I wanted to post then but due to not feeling well and technical difficulties, this was the best I could do.)
We had a party but he couldn't make it because he was attending one that was far better than ours. We would loved to have had him but we know he is way better off where he is. Sunday would have been Micah's 5th birthday. I can hardly believe that. We always spend that special day doing something fun as a family to celebrate his life. This year was no exception. We made it a great day of memories once again. We started off by making pancakes, bacon and freshed squeezed OJ. The boys loved every minute of it.
Here they are working hard at squeezing those oranges.

Even the little man got in on the action!

I flipped the cakes.

We all enjoyed a good meal.

Then we all went down to the basement where Todd had set up a theater, and we watched Horton Hears a Who on the big "screen." We popped popcorn and made snow cones. It was lots of fun and a great movie!


The little man didn't get his nap till late afternoon when we hit the road. As you can see, he was wearing out.

Finally, we went to an aquatic center and swam for a couple hours. Then we sat down and had a picnic supper. I forgot to get the camera out while we swam but here is the supper.
All in all, it was a fun day. But, why the weird question about five and six? Well, while we were out and about I was asked three different times about our family. This kind of questioning is not uncommon, especially with the twins now. However, it continually presents a problem for me. These people asked things like "Wow are these all your? Five kids huh?" or "So three boys and two girls, what a crew!" things like that. You see the problem is, where they and the rest of the world see five, I ALWAYS see six. When they say, " so five kids huh?" I never really know how to respond. This poor innocent person simply wants to talk about cute kids, big families and the weather. I on the other hand I want to talk about how I actually have six beautiful kids, but one just isn't there to meet them right now. I want them to know our family is bigger than what they can see. I want them to know that we have another sweet little boy, not any more special than the three we have the privilege to raise, but just as real and alive as them, only not here. So sometimes, I tell them, we actually have another son but he went to be with the Lord and they either make a comment of remorse or move on as if it had never been said. Other times, I say nothing about it and just spend the next while pondering the imperfections of living in this world. So the trick is, to know when to tell people that five is actually six. Because sometimes telling them can open doors to minister to another's heart. Other times it is time to just ponder it myself, and leave that poor person less awkward and confused as to why I told him that when he really just wanted to talk about cute kids, big families and the weather.

Aren't you glad that some day there will be no more tears or sadness? Aren't you glad that some day we can all worship together around the throne? I know I am because then five really will be six.

They slept much of the day as usual but here is a pic of my little cuties!

18 comments:

Joy said...

I'm glad you wonder that, because I do, too, when people ask how many kids you guys have. I'm glad all six had a good birthday.

Tengesdal 4 said...

Kim- thanks for sharing this-- it is a great reminder that there is always more to people than what we see! It's cool that you have chosen to celebrate these birthdays and even cooler the perspective that you have- that the party is waaaay better somewhere else!
Love,
Bets

shar said...

Oh, Kim, you are making me cry. I can't believe that it has already been five years, either. I am glad that you had a good time celebrating Micah's birthday; it's so cool to think that your boys are growing up knowing that death is not the end, but that their brother is definitely alive still and waiting for them. It always makes me think of that picture you posted a long time ago, the one Caleb drew of heaven. Thanks for sharing your heart. I love you!

Drifters said...

Thank's Kim for sharing...When people ask about our grandchildren I always count Mark and Micah and say we have two in heaven. That was such a cute picture of Micah. I always cherish the time we had with Micah at Stacie's wedding. The picture of the girl's so cute...they are getting so big! Tell the boy's we wish we could have been there to share the breakfast with them.

Susan said...

Thanks Kim you forgot to tell me to get the kleenex!!So thankful you guys are able to take the time as a family to celebrate Micah and what a special part of the family he is!! He truly is having the best birthday ever in heaven and yes what a wonderful day that will be when there is no more sadness or tears!! Love you guys tons!!

Stacie@HobbitDoor said...

I don't remember ever seeing that picture of Micah before. I often struggle when talking to people about your family. I always count him when telling people how many nieces and nephews I have. Thanks for sharing. I think you guys always do a great job of honoring his memory! What a great day for the kids!

Debbie said...

It sounds like you all had a very nice day. I totally understand where you are coming from. You so what people to know about your WHOLE family, but it often is awkard for them. Plus, your really not looking for sympathy but just want to talk about everyone. The picture of the twins was very cute.

jillian said...

Kim, THANK YOU for sharing your heart, this story like this.... such a testimony of God's healing grace and sovereign goodness even when we just don't "get it" and never completely will- till we're with him. WHAT a testimony of His care for you all to see how he has continued to shepherd your family and supply joy for you to celebrate the gift he gave you in Micah.
Celebrating the Giver and the gift he gave you in Micah with you guys now.... and looking forward to the real celebration ahead!
Ks

Bobby and Sara said...

Kim, I've been thinking and praying for you guys because I knew Micah's birthday was in the beginning of March. It's helpful to me to read about how you celebrate (and it's importance). I can relate to people asking how many children you have. Thank you for sharing about that. I've wondered how that will play out in our future. Now that I'm quite pregnant, many people have asked if this is my first and I always say, this is my second. It depends on the person and situation if I will tell them more about Paul. I think people might be confused sometimes but if they don't ask any further and I don't have the opportunity to share, I guess that's okay.
We're still really grateful that you & Todd came to visit us and share with us. You've helped us more than you'll ever know. Now Bobby is helping our good friends after their tragic loss.
Anyway, all of your children are beautiful and precious. Love ya,
Sara

Anonymous said...

Great post. Thanks for sharing. I've always wondered that myself with telling others how many grandchildren your parent's have. I think it's awesome that you celebrate Micah's b-day the way you do. Great reminder for your other five children that Micah is part of who you are. Tell Caleb that Carter loved getting mail from him and the picture was a bonus if you know what I mean. See you soon.

Chad

Movers4life said...

Thanks so much for giving us a peek into your heart!! Of course I cried through the whole thing, I'm with mom you need a "kleenex warning" at the top. You are so creative in the ways you celebrate Micah's birthday, and I know that these will always be very special memories for the rest of the crew. I will continue to pray that God will open doors for you to share, what an awesome testimony of Christ!

Movers4life said...

BTW-Love, love, love, all the pics!!;0)

Susan said...

Love the look!!! It was so funny I went here thinking "oh she hasn't had time to blog" not really paying attention and I caught the new look out of the corner of my eye not really looking and checked my tool bar getting ready to redirect it cuz I thought it went to the wrong blog! Funny, really looks nice, like the new arrangement of everything.Good job! Have fun this weekend.

Anonymous said...

How do you do it? How do you keep on living life so joyfully when you're baby isn't with you anymore? My friends just had their two week old baby go to be with Jesus, and like you, I marvel at their faith and joy through the whole process. But how do you keep your lives together and even more so, praise God through the pain?

Kim said...

Because I know in whom I have believed. I had a relationship with the Lord Jesus before this ever happened and I knew His promises to me. Losing our son did not change God or His promises. He is still who He says He is and has never once not faithfully taken care of us. God never promises in His Word that life will be easy or go just like we want it to. As a matter of fact, He promises we will have trials! However, He also promises to walk with us every step of the way and never leave us. I believe that all to be true and have experienced God's presence in my life over and over again.
How can I have joy and praise God? First, because He gives me the strength and courage to do so. Second, because He promises to work all things for good. This good is not something you and I can fully understand, it is not what always appears good to us. This good is bringing all things to His glory and I BELIEVE He has been and will do that through our loss. I can have joy because true joy does not come through this life or my circumstances, it comes through and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. The more I know Him, I can not help but have joy because nothing is as fulfilling as that. I am not claiming to never hurt, or to never have been angry or discouraged about my circumstances. I am claiming the truths of God's Word and that they can overcome all that. I hope that you too can find that kind of faith and joy in Jesus and what He promises.

Anonymous said...

You are an amazing person... Not only are you a great mother and wife you are a great inspiration.. You make me want to be a better person. My life is not at all what I had expected it to be but my life brings me great joy. I love my family.. I might have chosen the wrong path in many situations but what would I do without my husband and my kids? I have always said if something would happen to any of my kids you would have to put me in bubble room and lock the door because the thought of it I know I couldn't handle it. You and Todd on the other hand have something much greater you have Jesus and Faith and Understanding.. I hope to someday have all of those things back into my life. Again you are an amazing inspiration... Happy Birthday to Micah.. What a blessed and loved little boy...

Amanda Sue

Kim said...

Because I know in whom I have believed. I had a relationship with the Lord Jesus before this ever happened and I knew His promises to me. Losing our son did not change God or His promises. He is still who He says He is and has never once not faithfully taken care of us. God never promises in His Word that life will be easy or go just like we want it to. As a matter of fact, He promises we will have trials! However, He also promises to walk with us every step of the way and never leave us. I believe that all to be true and have experienced God's presence in my life over and over again.
How can I have joy and praise God? First, because He gives me the strength and courage to do so. Second, because He promises to work all things for good. This good is not something you and I can fully understand, it is not what always appears good to us. This good is bringing all things to His glory and I BELIEVE He has been and will do that through our loss. I can have joy because true joy does not come through this life or my circumstances, it comes through and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. The more I know Him, I can not help but have joy because nothing is as fulfilling as that. I am not claiming to never hurt, or to never have been angry or discouraged about my circumstances. I am claiming the truths of God's Word and that they can overcome all that. I hope that you too can find that kind of faith and joy in Jesus and what He promises.

Debbie said...

It sounds like you all had a very nice day. I totally understand where you are coming from. You so what people to know about your WHOLE family, but it often is awkard for them. Plus, your really not looking for sympathy but just want to talk about everyone. The picture of the twins was very cute.