I have heard it said, on more than one occasion this month, "I can't wait until June 2016 is over." Some have even said they cannot wait until 2016 itself is over. So much tragedy and heartache leads people to make these comments and I understand. I don't feel the same way though.
I have thought a lot about life as I have lived it this month. I've worked long hours. I've played with babies and listened to their sweet laughs. Skies have been brilliant blue, and I've watched the clouds and sunsets in wonder. I've grieved the loss of people and other losses with no simple answers. The smell of fresh cut grass has been in the air and I've breathed deeply. I've cried with and for my kids as they struggle to figure out this thing called life. I've seen baseballs thrown with precision and speed and heard the crack of the bat. I have rejoiced over wins and comforted in losses. I have been left with questions unanswered. Time has been spent bent over letters unsure what words you can really write to the broken. I've laughed with friends and found joy in surprises. I read with shock and grief the tragic news in our country and around the world. A birthday was celebrated and new life for those who have tragically lost in the past. I've felt great exhaustion. I've played with, laughed with, listened to, prayed with, and cried with many youth. I have prayed earnestly when completely unsure how to handle intense situations. I have prayed rejoicing over God's goodness. Tears, laughter, grief and sorrow, wonder and beauty. Every month is filled with a myriad of complex emotions and experiences like these and years are filled with months like these. When a month is a little more weighty like some can be - like mine has been - it is easy to wish it away because we don't like pain and we don't like hard.
I don't think we should wish it away though. We shouldn't because all of those experiences, both the glorious and the gut wrenching, are what life is made of and we see and get to know God in the midst of all of them. Our hearts though, long for peace and rightly so. Peace has no connection to our circumstances. No matter how great the loss, how deep the wound, how unsure the mystery of unanswered questions, there can be peace. That is what I thought about all this month of June.
Our lives will be filled with months like June 2016, but we don't have to have life perfect or answers to all of the questions in order to have peace. We don't have to understand. God has never, even for a moment, been out of control or left us alone. He wants us to do as it says in Philippians - turn off the anxiousness and turn to Him in prayer with what is weighing us down, grieving us, that which we don't understand. Then the remarkable takes place. His peace, which we also can't understand, will move in to replace the anxious feelings and will guard our hearts and minds. That word guard means like a sentinel at the gate of our hearts watching for and fending off worries.
When the worries, the grief, the unanswered questions threatened to choke me in June 2016, I claimed this truth and rested in that peace. It's July. July starts for me with the battle to be busy and not walk down a road of memories I wish I didn't have. The temptation to be anxious already exists. I have no idea what the rest of the month holds or the rest of 2016, but I am sure it will be filled with the good and the bad all from the hand of God. I am also SURE I can have peace no matter what takes place. God says in His Word He is faithful, He can carry our burdens, He is in control, and He can guard my heart with peace if I trust Him to be who He says He is. So whatever the coming days of July, the rest of the summer, and the rest of 2016 bring, I am going to keep bringing it all to the feet of Jesus, and accepting the peace He offers and that my heart always longs for.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.